The Shape of Days

There will be no April Fool’s jokes here. It’s not that I don’t dig them, it’s just that I’m not that interested in perpetrating one.

However, I will tell you about my all-time favorite April Fool’s joke: the story of the Republic of San Seriffe.

On April 1, 1977, the London-based newspaper The Guardian published a seven-page supplement commemorating the tenth anniversary of the independence of the island nation of San Serriffe.

San Serriffe is made up of two main islands and many smaller islands. It is said to be located somewhere in the Indian Ocean, but due to the peculiar interaction of ocean currents and island erosion, its precise location changes every few years. The northern island, Upper Caisse, is approximately circular, while the southern island, Lower Caisse, terminates in a promontory on its southwest coast called Thirty Point. The capital of San Serriffe, Bodoni, is located in the interior of Upper Caisse. Lower Caisse is renowned for its beautiful stretch of pristine, unspoiled beaches, the Gill Sands.

San Serriffe was colonized by European settlers; their descendants are called colóns. The nation is home to a significant mixed-race population made up of descendants of colóns and island natives; these people are called semi-colóns.

Following the nation’s independence in 1967, the country was ruled by the iron-fisted General Pica. Pica was overthrown in 1990 in a bloodless coup initiated by General Melior, who tricked his way into the palace by pretending to be a steward who had come to clear away the breakfast dishes. The reign of General Melior was marked by a gradual relaxing of the autocratic policies of the Picaist regime, and in 1997 the country’s first free elections were held. Popular leader Antonio Bourgeois rode a wave of national exuberance to power and has held the post of head of state ever since.

The transition to self-rule has not been without difficulty, however. The people of Lower Caisse have long resented being under Bodoni’s political thumb, and during the 1990s support surged for complete independence. Even the liberal Bourgeois government has been reluctant to entertain talk of partition, but the southern island has enjoyed certain limited autonomy in recent years. In 1999, a sweeping set of liberalization initiatives were passed under the slogan “Lower Caisse solutions for Lower Caisse problems.” The regional government of the southern island is now free to implement its own policies, as long as Bodoni gets to approve both the policies and the people implementing them.

The national bird of San Serriffe is the kwote.

• An actual, no-foolin’ excerpt from my life
• Filling out forms
• In lieu of a blogroll